Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Why Me???

Ack!! Life just keeps on piling up right on top of me. Things are just getting out of control and I am starting to feel like if anything else goes wrong I will just lose it. So money has always be lack luster in my life. From being a small child to becoming an adult. I found that I budgeted better when I lived alone because I had no outside influences. I knew what all MY bills were and how much I could afford to spend on non-important things. This was also much easier when I was making 3.00 more an hour than I am currently making. I have made some bad decisions with my money especially this past year. Where has that left me?? Carless, unable to pay my cable or internet bill which I am sure will soon be turned off, 900.00 behind in my rent. Really??? Where did I go so wrong in life. I look at other people and they seem to have everything and they are not working for it either. They are in front of me in the grocery store spending their food stamps and then going outside and putting their 3 carts of groceries in their Chrysler 300. While I am buying 40.00 worth of groceries praying they will last two weeks and then walking home with my groceries in hand.
I also just finished knitting 2 left socks. Socks that I hated knitting. While the final product is both cute & fun the process was anything but. 9 inches of stockinette I just can't bring myself to do this 2 more times. So that I could have 2 right socks to go with my two left socks. The other problem is I just don't have enough of this yarn to make 2 more and it came from knitpicks and I can't afford to place another order at this time. Every penny I have is being saved. It is so hard to tell my SO that we can't do something I know he has been looking forward to for months because the funds just aren't there. It's hard to be the one that bares the burden of bills, work, food, shelter, etc....
Well enough of that. I just have to do as much as can for as long as I can. Hoping things will ease up and SO will find a job and some of our problems will ease.

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