Loss

So I guess I have been thinking about loss a lot lately. It has been a year since we lost my grandfather on my mom's side of the family. It was really tough for most of us as my grandfather has always been really active and spent lots of quality time with all of us. Especially for my sister and me. We both grew up not spending much time with our fathers so our grandfather quickly took over that role. We were always his babies. I remember taking summer trips in the RV to New Jersey, North Carolina, & other places. I remember him at all of my soccer games cheering me on. I remember all of the amazing stories he used to tell about when he was a kid. My grandfather was always there to help when you needed it. He was a strong and gentle man with lots of love to share. One of the things I always admired about my grandfather is that he never dated anyone after my grandmother passed, which was 17 years before my grandfather. He never took off his wedding ring either. I hope to find the kind of love that he had for her. I hope to have his kind of strength and his amazing character. He taught me that life can teach you so much more than any book. My grandfather who only had a 6th grade education was one of the smartest people I knew. He had lived life. He had seen so much change in the world. My grandfather was born in 1927 so you can imagine all the things you read about in history books that he was actually around to see and experience. I can't think of a day in the past year that I have not thought about him. I know there is so much of him in me and I am very thankful for that. I know that I am a better person because of him.

With that said we are now dealing with the possibility that my mom may have breast cancer. I can't think of anyone other than my mom who has had more of an impact on my life. We are still waiting to hear the results of a mammogram she had this past Friday and I am hoping for the best, but I am expecting the worst. My mom is the most amazing woman I have ever known. She is strong, loving, funny, beautiful, & so much more. She taught me how to be me and that it was okay to just be me. She has allowed me to express myself even if it meant I would have green hair and black lipstick. I love her for that.